My Sage Advice

Last night at work was busy! Luckily, my job description is pretty much just "walk around and look for trouble", which I read as "socialize with friends while looking busy". I also parlayed a 20 minute break into an hour so I could watch the entire episode of "24". For some reason my absence wasn't noticed. Apparently I am not as expendable as I like to tell myself! At the end of the night, two drunk guys ran back into the bar after they were kicked out and we got to tackle them. Then, one of them swung a bottle at a manager and about eight bouncers kicked his ass. Seriously, they were actually fighting with each other to get close enough to hit the guy!

Tonight I'm working again. I'm all by myself tonight and the place is rented out by some 40 year olds for a big birthday party. Sounds like all kinds of trouble so I'm preparing for war tonight. The minute one of those office workers steps out of line I'm going to Kick. Their. Ass.

The last couple of days were boring. Like any good traveler, I have taken it upon myself to educate all the poor foreign kids who haven't grown up with same luxuries that we have. I've taught them about Mac and Cheese, Tacos, ready crisp bacon, and sandwiches! Man, do they ever love the sandwiches! We decided to have a sandwich making competition: 3 sandwiches, 3 judges, no-holds barred. It's probably going to get ugly. My roommate Guido and I started brainstorming. The American judge likes meat so, without further adieu, let me present to you "the coronary":



And enjoying the spoils, which we garnished with a side of pizza:

Notice the fire extinguisher? Safety first people! Isn't the sandwich beautiful? Three types of animal and 3.7 million calories. Please send donations for us to buy a portable defibrillator for the kitchen.